The One Where Everybody Knows (Except For Ross)
by DanishGirl123
Summary: Two-shot, starts right after "The baddle" between Chandler and Phoebe. The missing scenes between that scene and the scene where Ross finds out in TOW Everybody Finds Out. 100% in canon.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys.**

**This is my first Fanfic ever, so please be nice. As it says in my username I'm not a native english speaker (Or writer) so if there are a few major mistakes, let me know so I can do better next time. **

**I don't know if there still are a marked for Mondler fanfiction, but I needed some scenes where they only tried to hide their relationship from Ross, so I wrote it my-self.**

**It'll be two chapters, here is the first.**

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"So, it's finally over." Joey exclaimed happily. "Everybody knows!"

"Well," Monica started as she hugged Chandler. "Actually Ross doesn't."

"Yeah, and we would really appriciate if no one told him yet." Chandler told them moving an arm around Monica and earning a death stare from Joey. "But... anyway, if you all wouldn't mind getting the hell out of here, so I don't just have to tell my girlfriend I love her; but I can actually show her." He added as he leaned down to kiss Monica.

"Oh! Yeah, sure." Rachel wawing her arm in the air as she made a suprised little jump. She then started to push Phoebe and Joey out of the door.

"Hey! It's not fair!" Joey protested. "I wanna sit in my chair, if I have to keep keeping this secret, let me _at least_ sit in my chair!" Joey cried.

"You know what, Joey you can." Monica told him. "Because now when we know Rachel knows, we can sleep and have sex in my apartement without having to be quiet. So, we'll just go across the hall. If, of course, you guys don't mind staying here for a while?" Monica half-asked Rachel and Phoebe.

"Monica, sweetie." Rachel started as she put her arm around Monica's shoulder. "If you and Chandler are going to be having _not-quiet_ sex in our apartement, I might just stay in Chandler's room." She then added as an afterthought. "If Chandler doesn't mind, of course."

"That's fine, Rach." Chandler assured her. "I'm just going to pick up my Pyjamas." He moved towards his room, but Monica caught his arm.

"Why? It's not like you're gonna need them." She smiled, hearring the 'Nice' that came from Joey and the sign from Rachel. "Shut up, I'm happy." She told them without even looking away from Chandler's eyes.

Phoebe leaned towards Rachel. "Where have I heard that before?" She whispered loudly.

"Oh, she said almost the exact same thing when she was going out with Richard." Rachel answered.

"Ermm... what?!" He pulled away from Monica.

"Nothing." Monica quickly assured him and pecked him just as quickly on the lips. "Love you, now go get your Pyjamas." She said and pushed him towards his bedroom door. When he was safely out of earshot she turned towards Rachel and Phoebe. "What did you have to go and do that for?" She cried, her tone then changed. "You know what? Doesn't even matter, 'cause I have a boyfriend who loves me now." She said in a sing-song voice that ressembled a teenager in love.

"Wow, Monica you're really smitten, aren't you?" Rachel said stroking Monica's arm lightly.

"And do you know what's wrong?" Phoebe asked rhetorically. "We don't know anything."

"And Joey isn't any help." Her eyes went to the man who was sitting happy in his chair once again. "Chandler can have you tonight, but tomorrow are we -" She gestured between her-self, Phoebe and Monica." - having a girls-night-in."

"We haven't had one of them in _forever, _and we want details." Phoebe finished Rachel's thought.

"Details about what." Chandler said as he emerged from his bedroom.

"Oh, nothing. We're just having a girls-night-in tomorrow, and you know how girls want details." Monica told him. "Anyway, if you're ready, then let's go have some _not quiet_ sex, shall we?" Monica said with a seducing look.

"Good idea. Night guys." Chandler wawed his hand, not ever taking his eyes off of her, as he pushed her out of door. As soon as the door was safely closed behind them, they started to kiss passionately. "I love you, I love you I love..." Chandler moaned between kisses as they entered the apartment. He then pulled back. "But I don't want you to tell Phoebe and Rachel about _everything_!"

"Yeah, I know." Monica told him lovingly. "Why don't you tell me something that are off limits, and I won't tell them."

"Okay. First of all: 'Girth.'" Chandler told her.

Monica laughed. "Wow, Ross really scared you with that, huh?" She then gave him an insuring look. "Not that you have _anything _to be embarrassed about." She winked.

"Yeah, I know," He returned her smile. "I just don't want Phoebe and Rachel to know that."

"Ok, we won't talk 'girth', anything else?"

"Detailed details about -" He lifted his hand. "- How do I put this decently? The physical aspect of our relationship." He made a gesture with his hands.

"Okay. Again, it's not like you have anything to be embarrassed about. Anything else?"

"No, I think that's it." He leaned in to kiss her. "I love you."

"That, by the way, feels so good to hear again." Monica told him between kisses. "Did you mean it last time?"

"What do you mean?" He pulled slightly away.

"Thanksgiving..." Monica looked at him, when he didn't seem to have an answer, she continued. "The second you said it, I know I felt... but then, you took it back, and I figured you didn't mean or you weren't ready to admit it yet." Her voice was sad, but Chandler still didn't say anything.

So she continued again. "I knew, with either possiblity I still couldn't just say it, you would freak out, so I acted like it never happened. And waited for you to bring it up again, so I could ask you about-" She was cut off by a kiss. "-It." She said after several moments of passionate kisses.

"I did mean it." Chandler assured her. "But maybe I wasn't quite ready yet, and it just freaked me even more out when you didn't say it back, so I took it back. But I _did_ mean it." He said with a smile.

"But what are we doing with all this talking? When we sould be having not quiet sex." He said kissing her. They proceeded to make it to Monica's bedroom and throwing Chandler's unneeded pyjamas in a chair without their lips never parting. And then went on to have some extremly not quiet sex.

So not quiet that when Rachel 7 minuttes later came into the appartement to pick up her own pyjamas, she didn't have to go longer than the front door, to know if she went in now, she would regret it. 'I Should do this later.' She thought with a happy and disgusted smile on her face. 'They deserve this.'

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The next morning was Monica as usually up early cooking breakfast for everybody, although it took her a little while longer than usually to get up, knowing she had a loving boyfriend in bed. A boyfriend who didn't have to get out of her bed ridiculously early in the morning. The thougth made her smile.

But she also knew, that she had to cook breakfast to the guys, at least as a 'thank you' to Joey.

So, here she was preparing breakfast when Rachel and Joey entered.

"Is it save to come in now?" Rachel asked as Joey sat down on a chair.

"... Yes..." Monica raised an eyebrow. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"No reason." Rachel replied quickly. "So, how was the not quiet love makin'?"

"Not quiet" Monica replied shortly, remembering her promise to Chandler.

"Oh, yeah. I know!" Rachel told her as she took a pancake.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Monica asked.

"Oh, nothing," Rachel told her, "Just that when I wanted to come in and pick up my pyjamas yesterday, I had to wait until 10 o'clock before the noises stopped, and even then I only made it to my room before they started again. Chandler got stamina, huh?" Monica nodded with an awkward smile. "You gotta tell me all about it!"

"But not now!" Joey finally said a word. "Because I don't wanna know!" Monica giggled, just as Phoebe entered.

"Somebody's in looove!" Phoebe said in a sing-song-voice. "Only peolpe in love giggle that way. I just can't comprehend that it's because of _Chandler_." She said mostly to her self as she sat down next to Joey.

They talked about all and nothing for a few minuttes before Ross entered.

"Hey, guess what!" He exclaimed happily. "I got the apartment! Juhuu!" His hands were now in the air. "See, yesterday I took your advise," he said to Rachel, "and I really bonded with Ugly Naked Guy and... this morning he called me on my self-phone, because I spent the night at a work friend's to celebrate I might get my job back, in case you were worried." He said the last to Joey.

"Oh, thank you, Ross. I was soooooo worried." Joey said sarcasticly and rolled his eyes.

"...Anyway, this morning he calls me, and tells me that... I got it! All I have to do is to help him pack up the rest of stuff, and then it's mine." Ross took a deap breath.

"Pack up his stuff." Phoebe said to Joey. "More like, pack up his stuff, naked." They both laughed.

"Uhmm... What was that?" Ross asked, not believing his own ears. They couldn't know, could they?

"Oh," Rachel said," so it wasn't you we saw naked in Ugly Naked Guy's apartment yesterday?"

"OH, My, GOD! You saw me? You have to understand, it was my only chance, I had to do it-"

"Ross calm down, we understand-" Monica was cut off by Chandler's voice entering from her bedroom.

"Hello children. And my beautiful..." Candler finally took a glance over the room. "...Eks-college roommate, where were you, man?" He walked past Monica and over to Ross. "You had me worried sick."

"I spent the night at a colleage's." Ross explained. "But you, man, what are you doing in my sister's bedroom?"

"I- I... I-" Chandler panicked.

"He slept there." Monica shrugged, earning a look from Chandler that clearly said 'What are you doing?'. "Yes, in fact he sleeps here quite often." Now, Joey, Rachel and Phoebe all looked at her the same way as Chandler, Ross was just confused.

"He sleeps in your bed quite often?" Ross asked in disbelive.

"NO!" Rachel assured him, having caught up with Monica's thought. "He normally sleeps on the couch. I know you're new to living here, but whenever Joey has an extremely loud friend over, Chandler always sleeps on the couch." She told him the other nodded along.

"But if he sleeps on the couch, then why was he in you bedroom?" Ross asked Monica.

"Well...Well- well there wasn't any blankets." Monica explained. "You can't expect him to sleep without blankets."

"I need blankets!" Chandler cried.

"That sounds reasonable." Ross gave in. "One question though." He walked over to the couch. "If this isn't a blanket, then what is?" He asked holding up a blanket.

"They were all at the cleaner's." Rachel told him.

"Yeah you know me. Always keep everything 'Monica clean'." She told him putting the blanket baf on the couch.

"But how are they here, if they were at the cleaner's this night?" Ross asked.

"Phoebe picked them up." Chandler told him.

"You picked up Monica's Blankets?" Ross asked phoebe in disbelieve. "Why would you do that?"

"Because I'm nice!" Phoebe told him matter-of-factly. "Plus it's fun, all you have to do is say 'I'm here to pick up some blankets' and they find the right ones right away, say 'nobody else brings their blankets at the cleaner's.'"

"Okaaaaay, fine." Ross rolled his eyes. "But Monica, if Chandler Slept in your bed, where did you sleep?"

"She slept with me!" Rachel told him quickly ignoring the 'Nice' from Joey.

"Okaaay, well it's quite a morning you guys have had, but anyway John's waiting for me." Ross told them.

"Uhmm... John?" Joey asked.

"Ugly Naked Guy!" Ross told him, Joey still didn't understand why he was waiting for him. "I'm gonna help him pack, remember?" Joey was still a big questionmark. "I just told you! Ugh! Anyway see you later." They others told him 'Bye' as he left.

As soon as he left, Chandler fell down on a chair. "That did not just happen!" He flicked his fingers over his head.

"I'm afraid it did, Sweetie." Monica said as she bend down to kiss him good morning. "But, man, he's naive." She said getting confirmative looks from Rachel and Phoebe.

Joey who had been eating throgh it all leaned in towards Chandler and asked. "My friend was loud in bed, right?" He got the affirmative nod and awkward smile Chandler. "Nice!" He said and continued eating.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The gang met up as usually that afternoon after work at Central Perk. Joey and Rachel were enjoying their coffees at the table, Phoebe in the armchair and Monica and Chandler were sitting coublely om the couch. Ross had yet to come.

"You guys are so cute." Rachel told Monica and Chandler.

"I know!" Monica exclaimed as Chandler leaned down to kiss. At that exact moment Ross entered.

"Well, Monica it doesn't look like you have something in your eye." Chandler said loudly as he saw Ross behind Monica.

"What do you mean- Oh hey Bro. How was the packing?" Monica asked Ross as she saw him.

"Hi, it was fun. John's actually a very nice guy, when you look past the ugly and naked parts." Ross told them. "But before man, when you were looking into Monica's eyes. From were I was standing, it totally looked like you were kissing her. Isn't that funny?" They all laughed fakely, then Ross stopped. "Of cource, if you _were_ kissing her then I would have to kill you, so that'd be less funny." They stopped laughing.

"Yeah, well you know angles and stuff." Phoebe told him. "From were I was, it totally looked like he was strackling her." They all looked at her.

"Okaay, I have to go to the bathroom, so I guess I'll see you in a bit." Ross left, thinking he had very wierd friends.

"Strackling her?" Chandler asked Phoebe.

"Well you did take up all her air." Rachel told him and they all laughed loudly, although Chandler's laugh was clearly sarcastic.

"Well, I'm sorry Chandler." Phoebe told him. "It's just I'm new to keeping a secret like this, and this morning Rachel got to do it, and I just wanted to try it before it was to late."

"Which might be sooner rather than later." Monica told them.

"Yeah, it's actually harder to keep this secret now when most people know than it was before." Chandler told them.

"It's hard for us too you know, now when you know we know we have to help you." Rachel sighed.

"You shouldn't say anything." Joey told him.

"Oh, Yeah, you have probably done this for weeks." Phoebe laughed.

"Weeks?" Joey asked. "I have done this for months."

"What have you done for months?" Ross asked as he emerged from the restrooms.

"Ahh, Joey has a little problem with going to the wrong autions these last couple of months." Chandler answered having no problem with lying at Joey's expense.

"Months?" Ross asked laughing. "Haven't you done this for years?" Everybody but Joey laughed.

"I gotta go. I have a RIGHT aution to go to, so I'll see you later." And with that he left.

Ross was still laughing when suddenly he stopped and remembered something. "Oh, right Monica. That colleage I was at's yesterday asked me to ask you out. If you're up for it?"

"Woaw, Ross." Chandler said. "I know you have a wierd pleasure in marrying lesbians and women you barrely know. But I always thought you would draw the line at insest."

Ross fake laughed along with the others real ones. "Well, I would. That's why I'm setting her up with HIM!" Ross yelled the last word. "Anyway, Mon, what do you say?"

"Erhmm...No." She answered.

"Why not?" Ross asked. "It's been so long since you've had a boyfriend. Not since... since..." He paused to think, then put his fingers over his eyes. "Not since Pete. Oh My God, Pete was you last boyfriend. It's been like a year and a half since you guys broke up! You haven't had a boyfriend for a year and a half." Ross was suprised by this revelation.

"That's not true." Monica told him putting her hand on Chandler's thigh. Which Ross barely notiched, that was normal.

"Yeah, she had that secret boyfriend a coulpe of months ago." Rachel said.

"Oh yes. That's right. What ever happen to him?" He asked.

"OH. He moved out of town, got a good job, good for him." Monica explained casually.

"Good for him. But anyway, why won't you go out with my colleage?" Ross asked again.

"I Just don't want to." Monica told him once more.

"Why don't I go on the date Ross?" Rachel asked, knowing Monica needed a hand.

"Well you could, but wouldn't it be kinda wierd setting you up with one of my friends?" Ross asked.

"Why? I sat you up with your second wife." Rachel reminded him.

"And look how that turned out." Phoebe joked. "Look Ross, why don't I go, then Monica won't have to go and it won't be wierd."

"I guess that works." Ross admitted. "I just don't understand Monica's problem."

"I said 'NO' Ross." Monica was starting to loose her patience. "Anyway, girls don't we have plans." She said getting up.

"Oh, what are we doing?" Ross stood up too.

"We," Monica gestured between her-self, Phoebe and Rachel, "Are having a Girls night in, no boys aloud.

"Oh, Okay, I should pack anyway. Wanna help?" Ross asked Chandler.

"I- I- I can't come up with a good lie, so I guess that's a yes." Chandler agreed.

"Oh. Great, then we can all go up together." Rachel said. "But no, Phoebe we don't have any wine, can you go and by some?" Phoebe agreed and the rest of them startet going upstairs.

Once upstairs, Chandler turned to Monica. "Oh, Mon, I've been meaning to ask you something. And it seems like you gonna be held up all night so can I talk to you?"

Monica looked at Rachel. "Sure, we need to wait for Phoebe anyway, take your time." Rachel told her. She and Ross each went to their apartments.

As soon as they were left alone, Chandler turned towards Monica.

"So what did you wanna ask me?" Monica asked innocently.

"Oh, Nothing, just if I could get a good-night kiss." He said as he kissed her lightly.

"Sure, don't need to ask for that." She kissed him again. "I love you."

"I love you, too." He assured her. "So are you ready to answer ALL of their questions?"

"I think so, besides I can't answer them all, remember our deal?"

"Oh, yeah. Thanks for doing that by the way."

"No problem." She looked deap into his eyes. "When are you gonna claim your good-night kiss, Phoebe'll be back soon."

Chandler looked at her. "Right... now." Chandler leaned in to kiss. They shared a passionate kiss up gainst the wall for several moments before the heard a voice behind them.

"What do you think you're doing?" Phoebe asked as she emerged from the stairway. "Girls-night-in, no boys aloud."

"Phoebe. If you're gonna keep me away from my girlfriend all night, then at least let me say goodnight." Chandler argued.

"Well you did!" She said as she quickly dragged Monica inside apartment #20 with her.

Monica and Chandler quickly called out 'I Love you's before the door closed between them.

Chandler turned around and took a deep breath before entering the door.

"Hey, man." Ross said. "Ready to pack?" Chandler nodded as he thought of all the way he rather would spend the night.

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**That was the first chapter, the second one is already written down on paper, so I just need to type it into my computer - but it might take awhile anyway.**

**Let me know what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2: girls night in

**Hey, me again.**

**Second and last chapter is up now. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Didn't do this in the last chapter, but if you thought I owned anything;** **then you're pretty stupid.**

**XXXXXXX**

"Look what I dragged away from her kissing boyfriend on Girls-Night-In!" Phoebe called out to Rachel as she entered apartment #20 with Monica in tow.

"Monica!" Rachel exclaimed fake-suprised. "I said he could _ask_ you a question, not kiss you!" She winked towards Phoebe.

"Come on, Rach. What did you really think he was gonna ask me?" Monica said with a smile. "He looooves me, and we aren't gonna spend the night together. Of course he was gonna kiss me."

"Yeah, and now, it's time for the story." Rachel took the wine bottles from Phoebe's hands, went to the cupboards, took three glasses and went over to the couch where Phoebe and Monica already waited for her.

Meanwhile, Phoebe continued Rachel's thouhgt. "And we wanna know _everything_, when, where - we know London, but is that all? - why, how - like _detailed_." She winked.

"Sorry Pheebs." Monica told her. "But Chandler told me I couldn't say anything like that." She gave them a look that said 'sorry, but that's how it is.'

"Not _anything_? Not even a little bit?" Rachel asked.

"Well let's just say that it's a good thing that he works with numbers, because he remembers them _preeeetty_ well." Monica answered with a wink to Rachel.

"Like the time, when he was with Kathy?" Rachel was confused.

"He remembered that exact sequence that first time, has mixted them up ever since." She answered with a smile.

"Uhhh, was this the time when she awkwardly theached Chandler how to please a woman?" Phoebe asked Rachel having finally caught up with the conversation. Rachel nodded as a reply.

"And I'm glad I did!" Monica told them shortly.

"Understandable." Phoebe nodded. "Rachel told me how you got _really_ into it." She smirked.

"Anyway." Rachel changed the subject. "Did Chandler say anything else you couldn't tell us?"

"Well," Monica started. "'Girth' I guess he got really scared about that one, when Ross told him about, how girls tell each other that kinds of stuff, back when you were first dating him. Not that he has anything to be ashamed of." She winked.

"Oh I know." Rachel told them, earning suprised stares from both Monica and Phoebe.

"Uhhm... What do you mean?" Monica asked not understanding what Rachel meant. "Have you ever seen Chandler naked?" She made a face, she did not want to know the answer.

"Oh, didn't he tell you?" Rachel asked nonchalantly. "A few years ago, when I was upset about Ross dating Julie, Chandler comforted me one night and we ended up having sex - _not_ sleeping together - I left right after, and we haven't talked about it since." She finished.

"WH-WHAT?!" Monica yelled.

"You're right. That was so fun!" Rachel told Phoebe.

"So, you haven't had sex with Chandler?" Monica asked to clearyfy, Rachel shook her head. " Then why would you say so?"

"Phoebe told me it would be fun, which it was." Monica gave her a deathstare. "I regret it now." She looked like a 5-year old having done something very wrong.

"So you haven't ever seen Chandler naked?" Monica said forgiving Rachel for coming up with the story.

"Well, I have." She told them, once again earning suprised looks. "Come on guys I told you already." They still didn't have any idea. "It was last year when he was dating me boss and she handcuffed him to a chair. I walked in and he wasn't wearing pants." The penny finally dropped.

"Oh yeah," Phoebe remembered. "But didn't Joey say that 'he doesn't'?"

"Well, he lied." Rachel stated. "There's a reson why Monica calls him '_Mr. Big._'"

"Yeah- How did you know about that?" Monica asked suprised.

"Really Mon, you thought I'd fall for the terrible excuses of 'Mr. Bigot' or "I'm just cleaning Chandler's room in boksers and a tank-top'? You really think I'm _that_ naive?"

"Well yeah." Monica made a face but quickly changed the subject. "So, that's how you figured out. Phoebe, how about you?" Monica asked Phoebe.

"Uhmmm..." Phoebe started. "We were in Ugly Naked Guy's apartment with Ross the day before yesterday. He went down to fill out an application, Rachel went to the bathroom. I looked outside the window, where you can see right into your apartment. You and Chandler were talking, untill... you _weren't_ talking anymore." She finished with a smirk.

"OH MY GOD, you saw us having sex?!" Monica asked disgusted.

"Up against the window." Rachel told her. "I walked in when she started screaming. I told her to calm down, so Ross didn't figure it out. See, even then I still helped keeping your secret."

"Yeah, thank you." Monica said sarcastically. "And then you desided to mess with us?"

"It was so much fun." Phoebe laughed. "And we won."

"You did _not_ win!" Monica pointed her finger at Phoebe. "I didn't admit defeat, hence you did not win!" She looked at them untill they slowly agreed, although they made eyes at each other behind Monica's back. "But it turned out good, Chandler finally told me that he loves me again." She smiled.

"Wait. What?" Rachel was confused. "It pretty much seemed like it was the first time."

"Well, he said it on thanksgiving, but then there were the whole turkey-on-the-head thing and Joey screaming. So, we didn't talk about it again, untill yesterday." Monica explained confusing Rachel and Phoebe even more. "Why don't I just start at the begining?"

"Yes, please. London?" Rachel asked as Monica got the position to tell the story.

"Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away-" Monica was cut off by Rachel slapping her lightly and giving her a look. "Okay fine." Monica gave in.

"We were at the rehearsel dinner, but after we had eaten. Both Chandler and I were drunk and miserable, and as the saying goes 'misery loves company'. Chandler was down, because no one laughed at his speech. And me..." Monica took a deep breath.

"Well it was my brother's second wedding and my mother kept reminding me. Plus I had already had too much to drink in order to forget my parents innapropite sex-jokes." Phoebe and Rachel made faces.

"Anyway, we were sitting at a table, talking, when this drunk guy comes over to us and tell us that Ross seems like a nice guy - If only he knew what would come right?" They all laughed. "We say 'Yeah we like him' and then he looks at me and says 'You must have been a teenager when you had him' implying that _I_ was Ross's mother! Can you believe it?" Monica practically yelled the last, but was happy when Rachel and Phoebe yelled out 'No's.

Monica waved her hand. "So, that made me wanna drink _even_ more, and I got very drunk. At like 9 pm or something like that, Chandler thought I had had enough and followed me up to my hotelroom and told me to 'sleep it out.'"

She took a sip of her freshly refilled wine. "But I didn't wanna 'sleep it out' no what I wanted was sex, meaningless sex." Monica told them.

"I thought about going back to the bar, but I felt so old and ugly. So, I knew I had to sleep with someone I knew, which only inclued three men - one of whom was my brother. So, I fixed my-self another drink and went up to Joey and Chandler's room." Monica stopped when Phoebe opened her mouth.

"Uh, was this when you slept with Joey?" Phoebe asked excited.

"Ye- wait, what? Slept with Joey? Never in my life have I slept with Joey." Monica told them, her voice almost disgusted.

"C'mon, you told us already. You kept his underwear." Rachel said matter-of-factly.

"What? No, that was just something Joey said to cover for us." Monica explained.

"Wow, no wonder he was sick of it." Phoebe said mostly to her-self.

"Yeah, I was looking for Joey, but Chandler said that he was out." Monica said.

"Uh yeah, on with the story." Rachel said excited.

"So," Monica continued. "I went to Joey and Chandler's room. Chandler opened the door, already in his pyjamas - I guess he went to bed right after he had left me in my room." Monica said as an afterthought.

"I naturally made a joke about it and then asked for Joey, but he wasn't there. I was about to leave, when Chandler started to tell me how beautiful I looked now - and always - and I just thought 'Maybe Chandler will work' and I kissed him." Monica smiled.

"Ha," Phoebe pointed at Rachel. "You owe me 20 bucks.

"What?" Monica eyed them.

"Nothing!" Rachel told her. "I just thought Chandler would've been the one to take the first step, Phoebe thought otherwise; so we made a bet." She then explained as she handed $20 over to Phoebe.

Phoebe put the money in her pocket. "I still can't believe you wanted Joey - I mean he's fantastic, but stil, y_ou_ wanting Joey. Unbelieveable."

"Yeah, but you can't ever tell Chandler. That means you, Phoebe." Monica pointed at her.

"Of course, we won't ever say anything if you don't want it out." Rachel assured her, Phoebe made no such promise.

"So, you kissed Chandler." Phoebe changed the subject. "What did he do?"

"Okay, well he pushed me away." Monica laughed but then saw Phoebe and Rachel's confused expressions. "Only to ask me _why_ I did it and _how_ drunk I was." She explained. "I told him I hadn't had too much to drink and that he shouldn't feel guilty about taking advantage, and that I was sure I wanted to do it. And we went to his bed."

She only paused to take a sip of her almost empty glass, a fact Rachel quickly made untrue. "We were almost ready to start... when Joey walked in!" The girls gasped.

"I know he isn't the smartest, but how didn't he figure it out, if you were naked in Chandler's bed?" Rachel asked.

"Well he didn't see me." Monica explained.

"Wa- was he bl- blind?" Phoebe's eyes were very big.

"No!" Monica hit her playfully on the shoulder. "I hid under the covers."

"That makes more sense." Phoebe said to Rachel who nodded.

"Anyway," Monica continued, "Joey came in looking for condoms, and when Chandler asked if he could leave him some - very awkwardly - he only left one. So it was good that Chandler packed some that Joey didn't know about.

"What? You needed more than one?" Phoebe asked suprised. "With _Chandler_?"

"Well I believe it; after last night." Rachel winked. "How many did you end up using? 3? 4?"

"7." Monica simply told them.

"SEVEN!" Both Phoebe and Rachel yelled. "You did it _seven_ times in one night?" Rachel asked.

"With _Chandler_?!" Phoebe added.

"Yeah we would've done it more, but Chandler's other pack was only a sixpack." Monica looked down.

"That's too bad." Rachel stated. "Really seven times?"

"Yes, why is that so hard to believe?" Monica was starting to get impatient.

"It's not, it's just, _Chandler_. _Seven_ times." Phoebe told her.

"I know what you mean. I didn't believe it 'till I saw it either." Monica assured them.

"That's great, Mon." Rachel patted her hand. "I don't want to sound like Joey, but I'm hungry; can't we order a pizza?" Rachel asked, the others nodded and Rachel called the pizzaplace and put in everybody's request.

Once the order was filled in, glasses filled up and Rachel back on the couch, she got them back on track.

"So, you were in bed having had sex SEVEN times, skipping the details on Cahndler's request." Rachel said kind of disapointed. "What happened in the morning?"

"Well, we woke up around the same time." Monica continued. "Only a few minuttes before Ross stormed in yelling 'I'm getting married today! Juhuu!'" She did her best Ross impression as Phoebe and Rachel gasped. "And I had to hide under the covers AGAIN!" She practically yelled the last word and the others laughed.

"After he left, we had the normal morning-after-one-night-stand conversation. And we didn't talk to each other again before we were walking down the aisle together, we then agreed to meet up again that night."

Monica was interupted by the buzzer. The pizza was here.

Once they were settled aruond the kicten table (There would be 'no eating on the couch' per Monica's request) Monica continued the story.

"But after the whole Ross-saying-Rachel thing, we decide to skip it... And instead meet up in the winecellar. Unfortunally, there was supposed to be a tour of the winecellar, so we couldn't do it. And thus began the hunt for a place... to have sex." Monica took another bite of her pizza.

Monica sank the pizza. "First we went to my room, but there was Rachel and soon after, Phoebe called. So, that was out."

"That's what that was about?" Rachel asked. "Sorry, Mon."

Monica waved her hand. "Doesn't matter, it's just because we made this deal about not having sex in New York, so we were running out of time." Monica explained.

"We tried Chandler's room, but got interupted by Joey. We tried Ross and Emily's honeymoon suite - thought they weren't gonna use it - but got interupted by Ross, who asked us to stay the night. We even tried the plane, but Joey got in the way, again."

She took a deep breath before continuing. "So, we never got to do it again. And then when we came home, you - Phoebe - said that we had had sex, so we both freaked out."

"I knew I wasn't wrong!" Phoebe said victoryly.

"Anyway, you left, Joey left. And we were left alone, we talked about it and then he left... only to come back and say 'I'm still on London time, does that count?' I told him yes and we kissed... and more." Monica winked. "And that's the story of how we got together."

"That's amazing, Mon." Rachel said with tears in her eyes.

"It really is." Phoebe chimed in.

"I KNOW." Monica said enthuasiatically. "Your turn. Ask questions."

"Uh, yeah. I've got a good one." Rachel exclaimed. "How many times did we almost find out?"

"Well," Monica started to explain. "Ross and Joey almost found out in London. And then when we came home, remember how Chandler kept kissing you?"

Rachel frowned. "Yes, that made me sooooo uncomfortable. I don't understand how he picked that up- wait a minute. He kissed you first, both times." Rachel realized.

"So, it wasn't a european thing?" Phoebe asked. "Uh! Was that a way for you to kiss?"

"It was an accident the first time, and Chandler just kissed you." Monica told them. "But the second time, you saw us kissing when we were alone, and Chandler had to kiss you again." Monica rolled her eyes.

"Wow you must have had hated that." Rachel took Monica's hand.

"Yeah, but it had to done in order to keep our relationship secret." Monica told them. "Besides, we hadn't had the 'Are we exclusive talk' yet."

"When did you have that?" Rachel asked excited as she pourred her-self some more wine.

"Well, you actually provoked us to have that talk, when you made Chandler jealous." Monica told her.

"What did I do?" Rachel asked upsetly.

"You set me up with that nurse." Monica said shortly. "At the hospital, when Phoebe gave birth." She then added when Rachel gave her questionable eyes.

"Oh, yeah." The penny dropped. "That's why you didn't wanna go out with him?" Monica nodded.

"And why Chandler asked out that other nurse." Phoebe said certainly.

"Oh yeah!" Monica laughed. "He got so jealous, eventhough he kept saying he wasn't. He actaully told me to go out with the guy - when I said I didn't want to - because - and I'm qouting - 'We are just goofing round.' That made me so mad, that I pretended to be totally into the nurse - just to make him jealous. Then when you were giving birth, Phoebe, he approched me and told me what he meant when he said 'goofing around.' It was really sweet." Phoebe and Rachel awed.

"And then you were exclusive?" Phoebe asked.

"Pretty much." Monica smirked.

"Wait a minute..." Rachel flicked her fingers. "What about that secret waiter boyfriend of yours?" Rachel lifted her indexfinger. Both Monica and Phoebe stared at her. "C'mon, you just said you broke up when he moved away, but I saw you waiting for him - after Phoebe had the triplets." Rachel had an 'ahah, you're busted!' look on her face.

"Rachel, Sweetie." Phoebe took her hands. "You normally do this to me, but I think that guy might have been Chandler." Monica nodded slightly.

"What. No? He was the best Monica had ever ha- wait. Chandler was very happy about that..." Rachel trailed off, Monica nodded. "OH MY GOD, and I told him! I'm sorry, Mon." Rachel had an apologetic look in her eyes.

Monica waved her hand. "It's okay. He was very arrogant at first, but when I told him that it gave me a turn off he stopped. He then told me that if he was the best, it was because of me. Which of course, gave me a turn _on_." Monica winked.

Phoebe and Rachel laughed. "Uh, I can imagin." Rachel stated. "Have you had any other setbacks?"

"Well yes, when we went on a week-end away." Monica took a sip of her wine. "Joey must have told you about that."

"Yes." Rachel clearyfied. "That's one of the few things he knows, because that's when he found out. You guys saw Donald Trump - Imagin if he ever became president."

Both Monica and Phoebe looked at her wierdly. "Never mind, just a random thought." Rachel explained.

Monica eyed. "That's right, we did see Donald Trump, but other than that, we had an awful time there. I couldn't settle on a room and Chandler wanted to watch TV." She gave them a look that said 'can you believe it?' but they didn't return it. "Anyway, we went home early, mad at each other."

Phoebe practically jumped out of her seat. "Was this when you said 'Maybe I could' about giving up one of us? Did you mean Chandler?"

"Yes. But I didn't really mean it." Monica assured them. "I was just mad at him. But that day turned out nice as it was the day we determinated our relationship as a relationship... And then Joey found out, and we had to take him into my bedroom." She rolled her eyes.

"Ahh..." Phoebe said to Rachel. "They didn't try and take Joey."

Monica eyed them, but Rachel waved her off. "Don't even bother!" She warned her. "Any other setbacks?"

"Just last week, when he lied about my massages being good, when they clearly wasn't." Monica frowned.

"I remember that." Rachel told her. "That was horrible, and so was the way you tried to hide it 'If we start lying to each other... and by 'we' I mean society.' Rachel did an impression and everything.

"You knew?" Monica asked, but then realized that if Rachel had known since new years, she must've had figured out her lie. "Anyway, he was very sweet about it, said I gave the best-bad massage." Monica smiled.

"That you do." Phoebe told her. "I couldn't feel my shoulders for days after." Rachel laughed, Monica just gave her a deathstare.

"Moving on." Monica eyed her eyes. "We were having dinner with Chandler's boss." Phoebe and Rachel stopped laughing and got ready to hear a story they new absolutly nothing about. When had Monica gone out with Chandler's boss?

"Chandler had this annoying fake laugh, it drove me insane. So, asked him if he could stop using it, which he did - after a lot of convincing from my side - for me." She smiled. "But when I saw what kind of psychically pain he trough, I gave him permission to ues it - even joined in with one of my own fake laughs."

"Was that the one you used when I asked you about Chandler?" Rachel asked and Monica nodded. "Wow. True actions of love, making up fake laughs."

They all laughed. "While we're on that subject." Monica stopped laughing. "I think it's time for the thanksgiving story."

"Yay!" Phoebe and Rachel cooed, they had been waiting.

"You remember how I told the stories of our first thanksgivings together?" Monica asked and Phoebe and Rachel nodded. "Well, Chandler got very upset about finding out why I cut off his toe. So, I put on a turkey - like Joey in '93 - yellow megaglasses and an red hat, and did a little dance." She smiled.

"_You_." Rachel said. "Danced. With a _dead_ animal on your head?" Rachel did not believe it.

"Yes." Monica replied. "And he told me that he loved me," she paused to smile, "but took it back immediately... and then Joey came and got scared by the turkey. So, Chandler and I didn't speak about it again... untill yesterday."

"That's great, Mon." Rachel tittled her head. "I can't believe he told you 'I love you,' and then as the first one."

"Yeah, me neither." Phoebe agreed. "I wonder if he have ever said to anyone else before."

They all paused to think.

"I don't think so." Monica told them. "Maybe that time when he was really into Janice or maybe Kathy... But they didn't go out for that long." Monica said mostly to her-self. "But it's not something I can ask him about, you know. He'd totally freak out." She laughed, the others too.

Rachel looked down at her watch. "OMG, look how late it is already. It's past 1 am, I've got to get to bed. I have a meeting tomorrow." She told them and got up, then lifted her finger. "Last question. How did you mangage to keep this a secret for so long?"

Monica laughed. "We hid in plain sight." She explained. "You never noticed when we were sitting coublely on the couch or hugged etc. that was just 'Monica and Chandler.' And of course, a lot of 'doing laundry' and sneaking in and out of each other's apartments in the middle of the night. Very fun, but tiring." She gave them a small smile.

"Makes sense." Rachel told them as she moved towards her room and Phoebe nodded. "Good night." She told them as she disapeared through her door.

"I'm gonna go too." Monica got up and followed Rachel's example. "Are you gonna be fine?"

"Yeah. I think I've had a little too much to drink this evening. "Phoebe replied gesturing towards the two alomst empty wine bottles on the coffeetable. "So, I'm just gonna stay here on the couch if that's oaky?"

"It's fine. Good night." Monica told her as she went to her room, preparing for a night with out Chandler.

XXXXX

The girls ate breakfast alone that morning. The guys had been up late packing up the rest for Ross's stuff, so they slept.

When Phoebe went home straight after she had eaten, she met Ross in the hallway. "Oh, hi Ross." She greeted him. "Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna show the apartment to Donald, my boss." He told her as they walked out together.

"Okay. Good luck." She wished him as they reached the door.

"Thanks, see you later."

"Bye."

XXXXX

Back upstairs in the apartment, Chandler and Joey had come in for breakfast - which was now finished.

"Thanks for breakfast, Mon." Joey told her. "I'm gonna go sit in my chair now." He left.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go too." Rachel said. "I have that meeting to today, gotta be ready."

Monica followed her out. "Good luck." She said as she closed the door and put on the chain. She turned towards Chandler.

"So, how did it go last night?" Chandler asked once they were alone.

"Fine." Monica replied. "They weren't too bad." She assured him then gave him a seductive smile. "I know you kissed me good morning today... but I'd really like a proper kiss too."

Chandler looked at her. "How could I say 'No' to that?" He asked rhetorically and leaned in to capture her lips in a long kiss. "That's what I call a proper kiss, don't you?" He asked in a husky voice.

"Don't stop." Monica wispered as she attacked his lips once again, starting to unbotten his shirt. They continued making out, untill the door was open angrily only stopped by the chain, and Ross's angry yelling.

"CHANDLER I SAW WHAT YOU WERE DOING FROM THE WINDOW. I SAW WHAT YOU WERE DOING TO MY SISTER, KNOW GET OUT HERE!

**And we're back on track.**

**I know this have been done a lot of times, but I feel like I've got my own take on it. **

**Let me know what you think.**


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